Reflections in Delhi

Back in Delhi, after a bumpy, cold 13 hour bus ride, during which I had plenty of time to reflect on things (couldn't sleep after we left the stretch of paved roads around Dharamsala, ah thank you, Richard Gere, for your money.) I still get a bit of anxiety and lonesomeness whenever I am in transit. I suppose that won't change for a while. That's when you dream about home, and the familiar things. Even the slightly audible sound of Nelly Furtado ("Even though she acts so rough rough rough, who's gonna turn off the light?") playing on someone's discman was bringing up pangs of homesickness. I suppose it's because I'm traveling alone, and there are times, when no one speaks English and that does still kinda throw me off. It all depends on your mode of travel, of course. I'm not making plans, giving myself an agenda, or giving myself a concrete reason for traveling. So I feel a lot more vulnerable a lot more. But that's when you learn that there is a difference in a perceived danger and an actual one. I haven't found myself in any actual dangers here. I just get to be with my anxieties more.

Actually, that's when I find pulling out the sketchbook to be helpful. You get a chance to observe the situation for what it is, perhaps just a bunch of people working out seating on a train, or waiting outside a post office (where I was today). You calm down, get to see the beauty of the situation, and your energy also then makes you stick out less.

Anyway, I could go on and on about that. Suffice to say that my loosely artistic pursuits here have been nice. I managed to whittle my supplies down to just a box of markers, a sketchbook, some nice handmade paper I got in Dharamsala, and I'm having a ball with the basics again. I'm missing the painting immensely, but I'm getting great practice doing portraits. People LOVE to have their portraits done, much to my benefit. I'm focusing more and portraits and less on the figurative right now because I'm interested in that as a way to get to know the people I meet. We always end up having interesting conversations as a result of or before I start drawing. In Dharamsala, these Kashmiri guys I was always hanging out with referred to it as my magic box (hey! no metaphoric references intended!), and were always asking if I'd made any new drawings.
Anyway, might i say that Delhi's a lot more manageable than it was a month ago, when I first arrived? One of my favorite moments today was standing on the first floor of the New Delhi Railway Station, alone, munching on Haldiram's Khatta Meetha, just watching people. And it makes me wonder how I ever thought I could take in and psychologically harness what is Delhi to begin with. I'm kind of liking Delhi in a weird way. In bits and pieces, it's kind of exciting. I even took the bus today (ooh, aah). It occurred to me today that I've never actually been in a metropolis before. And add to that factor the broad span of cultures, even within Delhi, social backgrounds, lifestyles and experiences, time, and you have something pretty mentally unmanageable. We fools in the west and our illusions about being able to manage everything with our intellects (wasn't it wordsworth who wrote that long-ass poem about the unmanageability of London? London?! Forgive me, my English teachers, for my not remembering).

Ah, much more I wish I could write out, but it gets dark and I need to figure out how to get back to my hotel.
Peace, y'all. Have a great Christmas. Be thinking of you, on my train ride to Bangalore, the IT capital of India!