Stunned by Life: Haridwar & Rishikesh

Jaya Guru Datta, my folksies!

That is to say, That which/who guides you into light is a gift. I'm not sure I have that completely right, but that's my understanding. And it is such an appropriate thing to say every day, when you wake up, meet somebody, have food. It's like Give thanks.

Not even a week in India yet, and so much to say. so I won't say much because I'd rather be living it than remisiscing it while I'm here, y'know? One thing for sure is that India is such an unbelievable place. It's beyond description, something you have to experience. I feel like I've been stunned by life, not only in the world here, but in myself as well. The spiritual energy here is so palpable, it's hard not to believe in God, or a creator, or a higher creative power, call it what you will. And what a blessing I've had, when I've opened up: Already, I had the fortune of witnessing a massive Hindu congregation at Haridwar ("Gate of God"), hiked up to the Mansa Devi Temple and squeezed my way, with thousands of worshippers, to give an offering to Mansa Devi. Hectic 2 days hustling in Delhi finally gave way to a wonderful train ride, bursting with smiles and laughter -- even met my husband in my last life there -- a bright-eyed 11-year old boy named Diyanshu, who blushed when we cajoled him about having found his past wife. Dipped a bit in the River Ganga on the day of the full moon, very auspicious, had the fortune of being fed and taken care of at an ashram in Haridwar, participated in several poojas and even happened to be invited to eat at a wedding at the Ashram.

Currently taking a little break from hustle and am staying in Rishikesh, which is a bit more touristy, but has more westerner-convenience (more to say about what I'm learning about westerners later). Am hiking up to the ashram across the street every morning before dawn to do yoga and meditation. Very nice.

Traveling alone has been frustrating and joyous. The first few days here, having to recover from the shock of plane rides, travel fatigue, and then hustling to get my bearings, KICKED MY ASS. Stunned by life. I kept crying and then alternately laughing and didn't know when it was going to stop. That doesn't mean it won't keep happening -- I'm only more relaxed and accustomed now. Now I understand that the first few days were about shedding my old self, and the difficulty of it all has indicated to me how much trash I was carrying around.
Yes, V, the alchemist was an appropriate book to read on the plane. This is a story alright.

Anyway, that's it for now. Will write again soon, and hopefully set up a travel journal online so folks can make comments (it's too much to check all yer responses, tho it's ok for now). For those of you who got my previous crisis email, thanks for the support! Love y'all! And plz, send around to folks who didn't get email (didn't want to sit here typing all day)!

Peace and everything! Mosquitoes love me too.
Sylvia

Delhi: Madan and a ticket out

OK, main objectives, my calculating mind was saying, is to get some clothes, some sandals, and find a way out of here. All the while, taking care of this cough by staying hydrated, getting some rest, not losing my cool.

I'm making mistakes because I'm tired, I thought.

I met Madan as I was looking very much like a tourist, trying to get my oriention right from the map. He came up to me and asked if I needed help, very cheesy collar shirt and sweater on, like that was supposed to make his story more credible. But hey, I needed some guidance, didn't trust anyone to give me an honest answer, and didn't know how to take the autorickshaws (er, I was afraid), and he, as it turned out, told some good stories anyway. His story went that he was from Bodh Gaya and was used to seeing a lot of faces like mine around. Was I perhaps from Thailand? We sat down to tea. He had just flown into Delhi yesterday and what a large, busy, impersonal city it was. All he wanted was to make some friends. Why not? I thought, and played along. But that wonderful acceptance was starting to happen, relaxation into the situation and just enjoying the tea and story. I'm sure part of it was true, how he had 3 sisters, two of whom were unmarried. The situation wasn't too bad either. I guess, if he wanted to just hook up his buddies or the folks he worked for, they were as good as any, since I was completely lost anyway.

After all, even my hotel was trying to scam me again and again. Had already received a call to talk to the hotel's travel agent. When I went with the guy, he insisted that if I wanted to get out of Delhi, I'd have to book a train ticket through him right away, because they were filling up (believe me, I REALLY wanted to get out... anywhere). To Haridwar, he insisted, the four hour train ride would cost Rs3200. That's a ridiculous $75.

So by the time Madan took me to his guy, I was already fed up and insitent upon just getting the basic info to do things my own way. Madan's guy tried to sell me a plane ticket to Srinagar in Kashmir. Wasn't it inadvisable to go there? I asked, to which he pulled out a book of pics and called up another tourist to talk to me about it. Wow, yes, after the shock I'd been through, spending 7 days on a plushly furnished houseboat did look very appealing. But that's not what I came for, to be padded like that, and no, I simply didn't have the extra $250 in my budget.

Ok, I know I was really concerned with money the first few days... all the constant scamming does something to you, makes you a controlling, arguing, hustling bitch, and then you come out of it a lot smarter.

Anyway, I did buy some expensive clothes through Madan's connections (Funny, he still was playing "oh, i just discovered this great store yesterday"). And dinner on the rooftop of his friend's hotel was not bad, the first calm moment I had, where I was able to see so much of Paharganj's rooftops, men standing out there whistling to the birds. And food, finally. I did Madan's portrait, was good to do some sketching. And listened to his pitch a little about needing money for his sisters to get married. I did feel for the guy. But didn't meet him the next day, as he'd hoped I would.

Next day, I made my way to the New Delhi train station, which had a foreign tourists bureau. Got a ticket for Rs110 to Haridwar same day. My goodness!

Delhi shock

(This is being written in retrospect, 11 days later)

In Delhi the sun sets inbto a cloud of dust and pollution, several feet above the horizon line. That was one observation I had, sitting on a rooftop having masala chai, my first calm moment since I'd arrived in India.MY first two days, in Delhi, were all about shock, getting adjusted, shedding the expectations, realizing just what comforts I was not going to get.

I had arrived more or less on time into DEL, at 1:15 am, and after talking to a few women at the tourist counter, decided to stay at the airport until dawn before heading out to my hotel. Talked a little with a French woman who was also travelling alone, and we ended up sharing cab. Good thing too, because by 5 am i was starting to lose it, dozing off now and again. We made our way, both of us, feeling kinda vulnerable as we exited the airport and were immediately called at by several taxi services.

The taxi guy gave us the usual and expected drill: I have a better hotel I'll take you to, your hotel is booked, etc. No biggie though, when we simply insisted on the hotel I had booked at.

Shock sunk in big time as the dawn broke through, and the morning fog began to clear: I stepped outside and followed the taxi driver, whom I didn't trust already. Dirt roads, people everywhere, piss and dung, cows, dogs, litter. Totally expected, but still a shock at first. Went to the Shree Ram, where I had made my CONFIRMED online booking (I even had printed out the confirmation email I got). But I learned soon enough that bookings mean very little in India -- they said they had no rooms available, and then led me down another alley to a different hotel (only after i calmed down did I realize they were all owned by the same people). But suffice to say I was not happy when they told me that the rooms that I booked were not available and that I'd have to stay in a more expensive room. Damn, the constant fishing for more and more money is not a good way to start a relationship. After some argument, during which he kept insisting he was merely trying to help me, and that I shouldn't worry so much, they finally agreed to give me the room at the price I'd booked it at. Little power struggle more than anything else, I see now. It's not like the price was that much more in dollars, but once there, and on a budget, you do tend to start thinking in ternms of comparisons. By comparison, Delhi is much more expensive than other parts of India. They rip you off.

I got into my room and was further shocked. Oh yeah, I forgot about the toilets. Damn, and after a long flight and 15 hour layover, all you really want is a nice hot shower in a clean bathroom, and to fall into a bed with clean sheets. Heh. Yeah right, not at a budget hotel in Delhi.

So the first day I was there was totally trippy and brought up all sorts of control issues, which, I discovered, you have to QUICKLY get over to get by. I wanted so badly to talk to someone I trusted. Slept a few hours, talking myself through it. Don't get paralyzed, I thought, as I started wondering what the hell I was doing there. Just relax, rest, drink some bottled water. You're totally strung out. As soon as I got up, it was off to the internet.

The Chand Palace (they like to use descriptions like "palace" to be funny, I thought) supposedly had internet access. Kick in the pants again. You have to walk a block down, in another alley to their sister hotel, to use the internet. Clever, that way any one of those hotels could advertise internet access. Took me a minute to remember how things go in the 3rd world (it had been, what, 3 years since my trip to Vietnam), everything oriented towards the outside, and you do spend a lot more time outside than inside.

Anyway, by the next day, I'd felt less freaked out. Still, I was looking for some way of processing it all, getting grounded and familiar enough to get going. I was facing mad demons of my own. I really wanted real badly to get to know the place right away, I felt so alone and vulnerable and alien. Wanted, for some reason, to find other foreign tourists so I could ask questions, feel more at ease. (The hotel I was in was a bit off of the main bazaar, and had mostly Indian guests).

My body was still achy, and I was feeling really hot and dehydrated from the polluted air. Besides that, it was actually pretty warm in Delhi, and I had packed only winter clothes. I needed clothes. I walked in a random direction. That's when I met Madam.