(Safe) in Bangalore

Whoa! You have things to tell that you think are so amazingly important and then you get schooled into a perspective. For instance, I was going to write about my interesting Christmas, spent completely on a train with not enough space from my top bunk to sit up completely and thus being forced to read my books all day (thank you Xiaojing and Richard for the lovely pleasure reading); or relate to you my first impressions of Bangalore, of which the extreme contrasts (between the lives of the haves and of the have-nots, the position of the western consumer culture here, both convenient -- had to get contact solution and art supplies, for one thing -- but annoying/disturbing at the same time ); the funny, young medical students that I met and with whom I've been kicking it, etc. And then, my mind was just blown by the news of the tsunami.

I was indulging in some western consumer habits, er, shopping (a guilty pleasure, I must admit, after all the dust and yuckiness of being stuck on a stuffy train for 55 hours non-stop) when I found out about the tsunami. What a shocking reality to experience, after emerging from my cramped, gently rocking, literature-laden, artificially lit, packaged food-eating slump. It blows my mind, to read in the news everywhere that the body count rises every day, as more and more are discovered, washed back ashore from the sea. Really tragic.

The shock also hits really close to home. Not to be too dramatic, but I did think about a conversation I had with another traveler in which we were swapping notes on the best routes for going down south. He had suggested going down the eastern coast and hitting Kolkata, Chennai and Pondicherri, as the western coast was bound to be too crowded. Of course, we were only throwing up ideas. Still. I thought about Victor, who had been around Phuket a few weeks back. I thought about my parents, and was wondering if they were still going to Thailand. I thought about the people whom I'd met who said they were going that way and was wondering if they were ok. I thought about a few months ago when I thought I might end up hopping around Southeast Asia -- Thailand and Indonesia being key. In any case, my thoughts were definitely with my loved ones and friends. I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to email you until now, in this hi-tech capital. But I was thinking of you. And I was thinking about how lucky I am, and how blessed, to be alive and well. And, moreover, to be listening to my heart. That may sound cheesy, but hey, the cheese here is great! Ok, to be deeper, I guess you could say that my conviction in being true to myself, and really allowing myself the luxury of doing what I have to do, is only strengthened by the all my experiences on this trip.

I don't want to give you the impression that it's been completely somber for me, maybe just reflective. I've had a fun few days in Bangalore so far. Bangalore may not be the best example of south Indian culture, but there are a few hints of the south that impress me in their subtle ways. The weather, for instance, has been so wonderful. Bangalore's on an elevated plateau, so it tends to be cool for south India in general, but it's still really warm, esp. after the Himalayan winter. I've had to get some more clothes, put away my heavy woolen shawls and socks. The new flavors of the south are also a subtle but powerful sign that I'm in the south -- coconut foodstuffs (coconut's one of my favorite memory triggers of travels in southeast Asia, delicious lassis, dosas of various kinds, more rice than chapati). The south has also been figuring more women into my world. In general, I've been interacting with more women, who seem stronger and more present down here.

I've hinted a little at the consumer culture of Bangalore. Bangalore's modernity and western features also include the dominance of Information and Technology, a larger presence of young professionals, big business (InfoSys, Oracle, tech parks like the ones in Silicon Valley).

The last few days I've been kicking it with these doctors I met. Don't think old men, though. These are youngsters -- Balaji, who's 20, Ramya, 21, Divya -- who were so sweet as to have me over for dinner and house me for the last 3 nights. They're technically still med students but are already practicing medicine. Thus, I got a tour of some of the government hospitals in Bangalore, among other things. They're pretty funny, we all went for a tiger and lion safari yesterday and found ourselves on the playground playing see-saw (ok, maybe they were a little TOO young for me). It's all good.

Ok, seems I've closed down this cyber cafe, so that's it for now. Much more to tell, much more thoughts, but in the meantime, make sure to check out David's pix of Dharamsala at www.poeticdream.com. He took like thousands, so you'll have a blast. Hint: do a search on Dharamsala. Me, on to catch a bus to Coimbatore and my friends Deepak and Shobhana. Can't wait!

Reflections in Delhi

Back in Delhi, after a bumpy, cold 13 hour bus ride, during which I had plenty of time to reflect on things (couldn't sleep after we left the stretch of paved roads around Dharamsala, ah thank you, Richard Gere, for your money.) I still get a bit of anxiety and lonesomeness whenever I am in transit. I suppose that won't change for a while. That's when you dream about home, and the familiar things. Even the slightly audible sound of Nelly Furtado ("Even though she acts so rough rough rough, who's gonna turn off the light?") playing on someone's discman was bringing up pangs of homesickness. I suppose it's because I'm traveling alone, and there are times, when no one speaks English and that does still kinda throw me off. It all depends on your mode of travel, of course. I'm not making plans, giving myself an agenda, or giving myself a concrete reason for traveling. So I feel a lot more vulnerable a lot more. But that's when you learn that there is a difference in a perceived danger and an actual one. I haven't found myself in any actual dangers here. I just get to be with my anxieties more.

Actually, that's when I find pulling out the sketchbook to be helpful. You get a chance to observe the situation for what it is, perhaps just a bunch of people working out seating on a train, or waiting outside a post office (where I was today). You calm down, get to see the beauty of the situation, and your energy also then makes you stick out less.

Anyway, I could go on and on about that. Suffice to say that my loosely artistic pursuits here have been nice. I managed to whittle my supplies down to just a box of markers, a sketchbook, some nice handmade paper I got in Dharamsala, and I'm having a ball with the basics again. I'm missing the painting immensely, but I'm getting great practice doing portraits. People LOVE to have their portraits done, much to my benefit. I'm focusing more and portraits and less on the figurative right now because I'm interested in that as a way to get to know the people I meet. We always end up having interesting conversations as a result of or before I start drawing. In Dharamsala, these Kashmiri guys I was always hanging out with referred to it as my magic box (hey! no metaphoric references intended!), and were always asking if I'd made any new drawings.
Anyway, might i say that Delhi's a lot more manageable than it was a month ago, when I first arrived? One of my favorite moments today was standing on the first floor of the New Delhi Railway Station, alone, munching on Haldiram's Khatta Meetha, just watching people. And it makes me wonder how I ever thought I could take in and psychologically harness what is Delhi to begin with. I'm kind of liking Delhi in a weird way. In bits and pieces, it's kind of exciting. I even took the bus today (ooh, aah). It occurred to me today that I've never actually been in a metropolis before. And add to that factor the broad span of cultures, even within Delhi, social backgrounds, lifestyles and experiences, time, and you have something pretty mentally unmanageable. We fools in the west and our illusions about being able to manage everything with our intellects (wasn't it wordsworth who wrote that long-ass poem about the unmanageability of London? London?! Forgive me, my English teachers, for my not remembering).

Ah, much more I wish I could write out, but it gets dark and I need to figure out how to get back to my hotel.
Peace, y'all. Have a great Christmas. Be thinking of you, on my train ride to Bangalore, the IT capital of India!

Dharamsala in depth

Yesterday, a tragedy hit McLeod Ganj, as there was a fire that consumed 10 businesses, several residences, and a hotel (Kailash). Really unfortunate. Luckily everyone's ok, and only a few injuries. People here seem to be really resilient. They try not to dwell in the past, and are looking to rebuild. I guess you have to be resilient when you've already lost your home country. (talked to some Tibetans about their personal experiences being in exile in India, more on this in a bit). I talked to someone at the Tibetan welfare office (after asking several folks where I should go) and made a small donation for the families that are homeless from this. This kind of event really gets to me, losing everything you've worked for, no insurance or anything like that. I think the source was electric circuiting, and McLeod Ganj just takes too long to get to. If you've ever been in the area, you know that it takes a long time to get anywhere. So the fire truck didn't get there in time. Still, people aren't up in arms about it the way they would be in the US. There isn't a sense of victimization or helplessness, why or how it happened isn't as important as where to go from here. Big cultural difference there, and one we can learn from.

BUt that's only the most recent event in Dharamsala. (Didn't mean to start off so somber). I've been aching to write about my in-depth experience here, but the internet is so slow, and the cost of hours online really adds up. In-depth is also relative, of course. For me, it means 2 1/2 weeks of being very open. Time has such a different quality here, it's more like a rubber band. A task can take me perhaps 3 days, but on the other hand, I've had so many more rich experiences than I do on a daily basis back home.

Dharamsala is very unique and scholarly, yes, Deepak, much like Berkeley, with all these bookshops & cafes, the political elements, etc. IN the off season, though, there isn't as much of the new-agey element as say, Rishikesh, with all the yoga and aryuvedic medicine freaks. For the last week or so I've been dropping in on a dharma class at the Library of Tibetan Works and Archives. And this is one thing I love about India -- the "as is" quality about it. There isn't as much of a mystery, isolation or abstraction about doing things. Dare I say things are less institutionalized (dunno -- perhaps I haven't had much experience with the Indian bureacracy yet, but it sees this way). The registration for the class basically meant that I showed up, even in the middle of the series, and then paid afterwards. And it's a wonderful beginning class on Buddhist philosophy. Taught by a lama and translated into English, each session starting and ending with recitations.

It was down by the library, too, that I one day met two nuns from Vietnam, which was a nice surprise. There aren't very many Vietnamese tourists here (met just two so far, from Australia), but in the Buddhist hotspots, there are a few monks and nuns about. We were thrilled to have met each other, it was like family right away, and I found myself for a few days making lunch with them. It was nice to have some homecooked Vietnamese food (as Vietnamese as you can get, at least). I've been loving the north Indian food here, and in Dharamsala you can also get good Tibetan food as well as western concoctions like veggie burgers, fries, and pancakes, but not so much of the steamed veggies and soups like you get in Vietnamese cuisine. Plus, having meals with Co Hieu and Co Tuyen was nice for the conversations, nice practice for me, and a good laugh for them, though I find that nuns are very understanding and have such a humorous outlook on life that I felt I could say a lot to them about myself, my home, family & community, American culture without stigma.

I find my brain's a little confused with all the languages here -- Hindi, Tibetan, Kashmiri and other Indian dialects, English spoken in a multitude of accents, a few afternoons of Vietnamese. Plus some of the Tibetans I've met here have tried to teach me some mandarin (haha!).

The arts here are also wonderful. When David was in town, he was working with a Tibetan filmmaker from New York on a documentary project on Tibetan musicians. He's got his own stories through his beautiful photographs, which will be posted at www.poeticdream.com when he has a chance to post the, what, several thousand (?) images he took here. And indeed, in addition to TIPA, the Tibetan Institute of Performing Arts, I've visited Norbulingka, the Tibetan Art Institute, which has a gorgeous temple (I could sit there and sketch the motifs on the temple walls and various structures all day) and amazing art, both traditional and modern. I didn't get a chance to see the Thongka painting, but I met some of the artists in the modern art section. Really talented. They work 6 days a week, I believe, for 8 hours a day on their drawings. One artist showed me some of the plates (printmaking) they were etching for a costume series. Extremely intricate and detailed. It's amazing, too, how they manage to make the people in the images come to life from very little and poor reference material.

Great hikes as well. I LOVE the peacefulness here, and the small-town atmosphere. I'll miss it so much. Haven't taken all the hikes I'd like, but even getting from place to place around here involves some hiking and plenty of gorgeous scenery. But as the weather's getting colder, some hikes are not really an option for me. There is a beauty in the cold weather here, something I haven't experienced for a while. The clouds just kind of pass over the higher peaks, enshroud them, and leaving behind snow. Beautiful, but the nights are pretty unbearable, with just me and my candle and sometimes no hot water. So tomorrow I leave for Delhi and head south. Eventual destination, Bangalore, the IT capital of India!

High on Dharamsala

Well, hard not to be, at some 6,000 feet up. Never been up this far, it's so beautiful. When you look out at the horizon, all you see are green valleys and mountains, and off in the distance, bluish layers upon layers of mountain. Distances I have never fathomed before, at times downright scary, for a girl who's used to living by the ocean. You wonder where home is. And the sky here is so clear, wide, blue! At night, all you see are stars in every direction, never seen so many! Dwellings here are miniscule.

And that's only the physical beauty and peace of the place, which daily I can only absorb little by little. The energy here is also amazing, what with His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, in exile here. The Tibetan presence here in India is an interesting one, and is taking me some time to process. I think it's taking a little bit of a mental shift for me, since I've just been getting to understand Indian culture, after only a week and a half, to now be in the midst of a culture of Tibetans in exile, and the interactions they have with the local Indian (mostly Himachali and Kashmiri) population. One thing I do understand very well is the refugee experience. More on that in a bit.

Politically, it's very active here. At the center of McLeod Ganj, the part of town dubbed "Little Lhasa", there is currently a 40 day hunger strike going on, to protest the death sentence by the Chinese govt of Tibetan monk Tulku Tenzin Delek. You can read more about his situation at http://www.tibetanyouthcongress.org/tulkutd.htm.

Shift also from the Hindu holy places of Haridwar and Rishikesh to a Buddhist hotspot. To give you a superficial picture, one thing you notice is monks everywhere, in their maroon garb, sitting right next to you in the internet cafe, sipping chai, pictures of His Holiness everywhere, in restaurants and in little shops, temples, monasteries. It's too bad that His Holiness is out of town -- I happened to make it here in the off season. But on the other hand, it's been wonderful to have so much peaceful quiet time to hike and visit temples leisurely. Yesterday, I took a spontaneous walk with a friend of mine over to Namgyal Monastery, where they were starting festivities in preparation for this Friday's Himalayan Festival, which they celebrate every year in honor of His Holiness' receipt of the Nobel Peace Prize.

The main temple was filled with monks and lamas, even ones as young as about 8 years old, doing chants and swaying back and forth. The whole room was a lively rumble of chanting and swaying. Sitting there (and I couldn't help but sway as well), I felt blessed to be able to be there (here!) in a place where Buddhist practice is so alive. I grew up Buddhist, but mostly in a cultural sense, and I've read about it casually. I consider myself a Buddhist in the sense that I'm searching, that I try to be conscious of life in the present moment, life the way it is. But I don't really know much about Buddhism. I haven't studied under so and so or taken retreats. So it was a wonder for me to see the practices taking place. We followed the monks as they circled around the monastery 3 times -- once each for the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. ( I only knew this because my friend is Tibetan and used to be a monk). It struck me also powerfully to experience this knowing that this is a community in exile. It's great to see the cultural and religious practices of a refugee community so alive.

So Dharamsala is a pretty special place. I do see an interesting dynamic here. There is a bit of tension, just an underlying current, between the Tibetans and the local Indians. Not very bad considering that there are almost always clashes between local populations and refugees or immigrants. It's very subtle, but it's there.

There are also a lot of Kashmiris here trying to make a living since the political situation in Kashmir (about which the only thing I know that there is an occupation of the region by Indian troops) has crippled the tourism economy in Kashmir. I was talking to a merchant the other day, and he said, "Dharamsala is not where I belong." Economic exile, in a sense. He was really chatty since he thought I was from Korea (his girlfriend's Korean) and was trying to convice me to go to Kashmir. Was tempted to, as I'd heard beautiful things from folks who went. Likely won't, but you never know, a lot of unexpected things have been happening on this trip.

Anyway, just a small summary of the daily happenings and realizations in my world at the moment. More to update later. Can I say, in the meantime, that there are so many beautiful people in India! Physically and in personality, and soul. I have been truly believing since I got here, that your thoughts and intentions and energies do manifest in the world. Is it because I'm more open? I don't know. But one of my wishes, without my knowing it, must have been to get high on people, because even though I've been travelling alone, I have not felt alone for very long here. The conversations I have daily, ordinary ones over dinner or a purchase, or a question, to deeper conversations over tea, the conversations have been feeding me so well.

I'll leave you with that for now.

Dharamsala

is breathtakingly gorgeous. Arrived day before yesterday, high from the thin air after getting no rest on the train and bus ride. Met up with David Huang, who is also finding what he came here for. He's already engrossed in a nicely engrossing project with a documentary project on Tibetan musicians.

Me, been doing a few things here and there but mainly just enjoying the wonderful hikes, so picturesque, my main activity is looking. Will update more later, and I'm sure David will have pix at some point soon.